Wednesday, February 24, 2010

These days.

The weather has such an effect on my mood. I've been feeling particularly awesome the past couple days, but it's a little more difficult when it's rainy and miserable...and the rain isn't going anywhere. Upon further inspection of the weather, it's suppose to precipitate in some form or another until Sunday, when it will be kind of sunny. Maybe. Hopefully...

I've been trying very, very hard to take control of my worrying. Anybody who has met me for 30 seconds knows that I worry a lot. I've been keeping busier than usual, not necessarily with school work, but just always having something planned. I need something to look forward to. It gets harder sometimes, because sometimes the things I look forward to the most are kind of far off, but I'm still learning. I am starting to see that being relaxed and happy doesn't necessarily mean having lots of time to sit around and do nothing. I don't know why it took me all of my high school and college career to discover this, but I guess better late than never.

I'm also learning that doing things that are new or different doesn't mean they are also scary. It just means that it's new and different. And while this may seem obvious, I need to remind myself of it constantly. Part of the reason I'm even bothering to write this all down is so that maybe, if I catch myself falling into another funk, I can reread it and remind myself of the things I've learned.

I haven't felt this good...ever.

Friday, February 19, 2010

I wanna do something that matters
say something different;
something that sets the whole world on it's ear.
I wanna do something better, with the time I've been given,
and I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
and leave nothing less that something that says "I was here."

I can. Not. Stop. listening to Lady Antebellum. I'm glad I found something new to listen to though, it's nice to find something different.

This weekend is going to be such a nice break. School is driving me nuts.