Friday, November 26, 2010

Change your outlook.

I keep telling myself that if I keep track of these thoughts, eventually, I won't have to think so hard about everything, and I can just do.

I just read an article about a woman who had a daughter with leukemia.  While the girl was undergoing chemo and staying in the hospital, the common day to day theme was not "I have to..." but "I get to..."  Things that seems so trivial and average became monumental.  
So many times, I find myself saying that I have to do something, even if it's something that very well may be enjoyable and voluntary.
Tomorrow, I get to go back to my apartment, and start getting it ready for Christmas.  I get to see my friends, and I get to play in pep band at a basketball game.  I get to go to a football game on Saturday and spend the day with the best bunch of people I know.
I get to do so many things!
And so, at times (like right now) when I get stressed, irritable, and anxious, I may need to repeat this to myself a few time.

Also, I should probably spend a few more minutes getting organized, and then get some sleep.  That would probably help the anxiety.   

Thursday, November 25, 2010

I'm thankful for...

...a lot of things, big and small.

A big, loud, Italian family.
Friends that care about me.
Teachers that try to make me a better person and future teacher.
The UCMB. <3
The chance to be section leader and band captain.
The best Upper Leadership I could have asked to work with this year.
The BEST trumpet section.  Ever.
That even though I had mono, it didn't knock me out for the whole semester.
For time spent in Sprague or the music building ... until 2 am.  or 3.  or 4...
My Godson, Thomas, and his brother, Gregory. 

Peace, love, and thanks.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

More to come...

Because I can't concentrate on actually doing work, but I have tons of blog ideas in my head, I figured I'd leave the list of them here so I don't forget them later on...

  • The political debates that will most likely occur during Thanksgiving, especially with my dad's side of the family.
  • Christmas!  ...yeah, I know, but it'll be more than just me freaking out about Christmas music.
  • Speaking of freaking out...there's probably going to be an entry on that, too.
  • The semester in review.
  • My undergrad career in review. (BUH)
  • UCMB: The Past 5 years in review.
  • My new plans for the new year/semester.
Get it doneeeee.

Monday, November 22, 2010


What am I so damn afraid of?

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Life Lessons from the UCMB

I think I'm going to make this a regular topic.  Because I need an outlet for this stuff...some are serious, some not so much.  But, it does not make them any less true...

The weird yellow bus is actually the one everybody wishes they had...take it for the trumpets!!
Don't eat the band sandwiches.  Just don't do it.
Sometimes, things do turn out fine.  Or, almost fine.
If you are in the trumpet section this year, there are 43 people.  That means there are 42 people that care about you.
Cookies and Junior Mints can, and do, solve life's problems.
...but only if you have a flow chart developed by the one and only Anna Mills telling you to eat aforementioned Junior Mints.
The UCMB knows how to have more fun than anyone else.
And the trumpets know how to have more fun than that.
Kevin was right...not to discount my relatives at all...but I have a family here at UConn. 

Annnnnd it's 5 am.  I've been up for 20 hours.  I'm going to try to go to sleep. <3

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Everything is not as bad as it seems.

Everything is not as bad as it seems.
Everything is not as bad as it seems.
Everything is not as bad as it seems.
Everything is not as bad as it seems.

Sleep, a football game, pep band game, an exhibition, and spending all that time with trumpets will fix this.  Hopefully.

Monday, November 8, 2010

In honor of the first snow of the season...

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have flakes. Flakes have been sighted. Flakeage, if you will, has begun."

"The world changes when it snows. It's quiet. Everything softens."

"We go back, snow and me.  We have a beautiful history."

-Loreali Gilmore, Gilmore Girls

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Let's talk about this for a second...

4 weeks of class left.
6 weeks until the semester ends.
Not enough time to figure out what's going on next year.
What.  is.  going.  on.

I say it every two seconds, but God, I love the trumpet section.
Trying to learn the lesson that not everything is as bad as I make it out to be.  Let's do this week right.

Friday, November 5, 2010

The Days are long, but the Years are short.

Things go from epically awesome and amazing, to completely falling apart, and then back again...very quickly.  Which should lead me to believe that not everything is as terrible as it seems.  Maybe I should writing in here on a daily basis, so I can start making these connections before the freak outs occur. 
I've been trying to decide on grad school-the current verdict is that I will be going to grad school next year.  If a UConn one-year masters program turns out to be an option, then I will come here almost certainly.  I will probably apply to the University of New Haven as well, just to keep that option open.  After almost crying in seminar class, (although I kept it to myself) I realized I'm just not ready to be a teacher.  No matter what anybody else says or tries to convince me of, I'm the only one that can judge what I'm truly ready for.  The working world is not what I'm ready for.

I feel horrible about not being home for awhile.  I still have not met Anne's twins-my Godson, Thomas, and his brother, Gregory.  It breaks my heart, but between the mono and being busy, it just wasn't right to see them now.  I, (and most definitely Anne) did not want them to get sick.  Soon, I'll be home for a month, and can see Anne and the babies every day :)

Even though Andy would yell at me, because "it's not even Thanksgiving yet," I cannot wait to decorate for Christmas!

My 2nd completely insane week of work (that happens only about three times all semester) is over.  All I need to get through is 4 weeks of class, plus a jury.  I have no finals, besides one online final.  Sometimes I love being a music major.

4 weeks of class left.  Where did the semester go?  I don't understand how September seems like it was a full 365 days long...but it also feels like September was a year ago.  I guess what I read in The Happiness Project is true-the days are long, but the years are short.  I make this realization every once in awhile, and I hope that soon, I realize it and it sticks with me.  I waste so much time worrying, instead of trying to make things better for myself-and maybe even just stop stressing, and just enjoy myself a little bit.

These entries are far from eloquent, but sometimes I just need to blog, stream of consciousness style.  I feel pretty good now...