If this isn't rambling, I'm not sure what is.

I think, more than anything in this world, I wish I didn't get as nervous as I do. I get nervous about EV.ER.Y.THINGGGGG. No matter how many times I tell myself that, (whatever "it" is) will be over soon, won't be that bad, or is really nothing to worry about...I find myself shaking anyway. I have no control over it either. Sometimes, it's truly awful. Then, sometimes, things like my recital will happen...I was insanely nervous, and it SHOWED in my playing-but I wasn't shaking, I wasn't crying, and I wasn't freaking out. It holds me back form doing things that I want to do, and it's starting to bother me more.

I'm still happy to be back at school...but I feel so unorganized. I lost my mojo, I want it back :-(